Dedra* (wonder_child) wrote,

  • Mood:

The boys across the street are animals

I don't know what happens.

It has to get worse before it gets better.
That's what they all say, right?

[I start to have fun with everyone, but then there is a crescendo of irrational fear.]

I want to relate these days, I used to do it well. But now I'm just so afraid of failing that I'd rather not try at all.
It's such shitty sportsmanship. So screw it.

That's the last night I try to leave.
That's the last time I give up speaking.
That's the last.
I don't want to feel inaccessible. anymore.

And well, next time I'll go head first into... whatever it is I'm supposed to be doing at this age.
Because those kids aren't so bad. Kids in general aren't so bad, maybe.
I'm going to stop screwing people over socially. I'm sorry I do it to you.

I keep speaking of the things I'm "going" to do. So right now, I'm stopping this "future talk" bullshit.
Now it's action time.
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